I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
