Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
It's shark week go big or go home
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
