You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
please come you make the beer taste better
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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