I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
