remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
