So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
