You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
