Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
