Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
