umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize