I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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