you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
