I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
