Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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