Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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