I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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