also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
