That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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