i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
