he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
