I like to think it a success when the cops are called
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
