if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
