So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
