So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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