Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
