No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Randomize
