my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
