How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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