I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
