I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
