literally had 100 drinks last night.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize