Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
she pinky promised me she was 18
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
