she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
