i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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