I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
