he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
