everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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