I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
