Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
