I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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