Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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