i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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