She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
