so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
