Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
