Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Life is so much better after having sex.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
