Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
