i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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