Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize