so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
