Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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