So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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