if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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