She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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