I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize