im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
