i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
