Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
