C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize