good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
