Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
