you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
