I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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